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Breathe Mom, Breathe

Ever noticed when things are amped up in our lives we tend to hold our breath?  Who has time to breathe when there are places to go, things to do, problems to solve and life altering decisions to be made?

Upfront, over these past couple of months, our church was preparing for a 25th Anniversary celebration.  We have been blessed to be a part for 19 of those 25 years.  Most of our lives have been spent investing in the mission of South Shore Community Church.  It was a privilege to be a part of planning, preparing and throwing the celebration. It was super fun reconnecting with old friends, rejoicing in all that God has done, and traveling down memory lane.

However, the celebration was more like Christmas, adding a layer on top of an already full life leading to tense shoulders, late night hours and little time for breathing.

In the background, over the past couple of months, a more private dialogue was happening within the Camp family. For the last eight years, we have been running the nonprofit Family Builders.  Recently, we have felt God was up to something different for our family.  During the last few months we wrestled for clarity on the direction it seemed God was leading us.

The Monday before our church’s 25th Anniversary, Tony officially accepted the Children and Family pastor position at Crosspoint City Church in Cartersville, Georgia.

Leaving our church family of 19 years, leaving sunny Florida of 25 years, and leaving our daughter who will stay to finish her college education at USF was not an easy decision to come to. Selling our home, Tony leaving before Silas and I do, helping transition all the hats I wear with my ministry position with our beloved South Shore, has weighed heavy on our hearts.

While preparing for the 25th Anniversary celebration, at home we were preparing our house to go on the market, decluttering and deep cleaning. One evening while my son and I were carrying stuff back to the bedroom, I was already rambling about what needed to be done next, Silas interrupted me with, “breathe Mom, breathe!”

I want to trust. To be anxious for nothing. To have faith that moves mountains. But there are closets to clean out and teams to be built and people to tell and quality time to be spent with those I love. I catch myself holding my breath a lot these days, but when I do, I hear God using Silas’ voice reminding me to breathe.

I am trying to embrace the mantra that life is about the journey not the destination, but it hasn’t been easy. I do believe it though.  I believe that to God each hello, smile, noticing the butterfly, lunch with a friend, remembering to be thankful, game night with family, or simple conversations after church are all equally important as the sale of our home, the purchase of another, where Sydney will live, Silas will go to school, how God will use Tony in his new position and what God has planned for me even though I cannot see it yet.

We worship and serve a God who takes note of how many strands of hair are still on our head, collects every teardrop we will ever shed and knows every breath we breathe. God is not in a hurry.  He is about the now.  He wants us to see our need for Him today in this moment, acknowledge Him and invite Him into each precious moment He gives us.

When I catch myself holding my breath, I stop, breathe deeply and transfer my thoughts to the now moment.  I don’t want to miss one moment. As much as I am able, I will choose the journey over the destination one breath at a time.

“What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage…when they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs…they will continue to grow stronger.” Psalms 84:5-7, NLT

Thank you for reading my blog.  I have also written a Bible study for women, Image Wearers to Image Bearers.  Gather a couple of your friends together and join me in learning the truth of what God’s Word has to say about who you are and who you are meant to be! 

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