Lately, I have coined the term “hard but good” for this new season of our life. In April of 2018 Tony joined the team at Crosspoint City Church in Cartersville, Georgia as the Kid’s Pastor. This set into motion major change for the Camp family.
On the good side of things, Crosspoint is an amazing church and we are privileged to be a part of all that God is doing here. Tony is thriving and has fit right in with the Crosspoint team. Silas’ attitude has been entrepreneurial trying new things and jumping in at church and at school. I have taken the past eight months as a sabbatical of sorts, traveling to see family and friends, entertaining those who have come to see us, and exploring the wonderful world of hiking. I also thought I would be unpacking and getting us settled in to a new home.
On the hard side of things, when we moved we left ¼ of our family in Florida. There is grief in having moved away from not only our daughter, but our friends and church family of twenty years. The lack of sunshine was an anticipated adjustment and just as expected, it has been rough. I personally have grieved the loss of ministry engagement through serving on staff at our former church. Surprisingly, none of these hard things have matched that of the ongoing saga from not being settled in a home.
We moved at the end of May and never in our wildest dreams did we consider in January of the New Year we would still not be settled into a new home. Over the summer we were blessed to have lived with a wonderful couple who welcomed us into their home. In August we were blessed again when we moved into a beautiful rental home with a special month to month agreement. In October, we finally closed on a fantastic piece of property with a fixer upper home that delivered fun character and pristine views.
From the day we bought the house our roof began to leak. The roofers responded in a timely fashion the first few times. It quickly became evident that the roof had not been put on well and we would continue to have problems unless it was replaced and done correctly. Renovations were stalled by mid-November until the roof situation was resolved. There had already been significant damage to the drywall and ceilings.
From this point forward every turn of this scenario became worse. The roofers backed out of their warranty and we were left with decisions on legal pursuits, absorbing the cost of an unplanned new roof and an indefinite stall on renovations.
Then there is the God struggle that comes with each hardship. Did we do something wrong? Are we being punished? Did we miss God’s leading and this was the wrong house? If God led us to this place, then why are we going through this?
The God struggle often leaves us with more questions than answers, but the key is to keep struggling and to choose to trust God amidst the unanswered questions. Searching for God with eyes wide open, we can see God at work. He has continued to speak to me personally with words that have been timely through devotionals, verses from the Bible, words in songs, sermons and through friends. Here is a sample of the long list I keep to remind me that God is with us.
“My physical environment was never intended to be my refuge.” (Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simons)
“Trust in God who led His people in the dessert so they might know the end of their power and the fullness of His provision.” (Gracelaced)
“Don’t lose heart. Don’t look back. Praise Him and pray.” (Your Powerful Prayers by Susie Larson)
“Saying yes to the journey activates my transformation.” (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. But even the hairs on your head are counted. DO NOT BE AFRAID, you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12: 6-7, NLT)
“I have purposed in these days to do good to Jerusalem and to the house of Judah. DO NOT BE AFRAID!” (Zechariah 8:15, NLT)
“I sought the LORD and He answered me He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” (Psalm 34:4-5, NLT)
It has taken me by surprise how attached to the need of being settled I am. I have lived stalled because of our perpetual temporary situation. It has been a challenge to choose contentment despite the circumstances. Allowing Christ to be the sunshine that fills my soul is a new twist for this Florida girl.
The move has been hard but good and lessons being learned is part of the good. Leaning in, I am embracing the box look and having people in our home regardless of the pan or tray that I can’t find. My sabbatical is over and I am looking for ways to plug into our new church and it is time to look for a job. The new move in date is the end of February or the first of March. We shall see!
I still do long to be settled with my physical surroundings, but I am learning to be settled where it counts most, because with God as my Shelter my soul is always at home.
Thank you for reading my blog. I have also written a Bible study for women, Image Wearers to Image Bearers. Gather a couple of your friends together and join me in learning the truth of what God’s Word has to say about who you are and who you are meant to be!